So you know those moments where you’re in the midst of a long slog of work and you’re tired and you’re snuggled in bed and your brain has finally wound itself down and you’re finally feeling peaceful and slow and you reach over to click off the light and you see out of the corner of your eye something that is either a rogue clump of hair or a DISGUSTING TERRIFYING BUG CREATURE THAT IS GOING TO CRAWL ALL OVER YOU AND EAT YOUR BRAINS IN THE NIGHT?
It turned out to be a sweater fuzzy wrapped in a rogue clump of hair. So. Coupla things. One is that I’m NEVER SLEEPING AGAIN and two is that I could probably stand to do a much more thorough job of cleaning my room in the future.
What a messed up time to discover that! I hate when I get into bed and just happen to spot a spider crossing the ceiling overhead…that just ruins EVERYTHING…
Yes, that happens to me all the time. But it turns out that it IS a disgusting creature of the spider persuasion and I lose him and cannot find him and then cannot sleep in that room and go down to the den sofa but cannot sleep there anyway because I fear he has followed me and I do not sleep that night or ever until I catch him and obliterate him with extreme malice. Yeah, I can relate.
i so god say.brather
I love your writing + am trying to connect with you, but don’t see an email address!
Hi, Kerry! If you want to follow me via email, there’s this nifty little widget up top, underneath that surly picture of me in a bathrobe. I don’t publish my personal email address on here because, you know, I don’t totally understand the internet but it just feels like a bad idea somehow. But if you want to send something my way personally, you can find me here: http://www.katherinefritz.com/contact/. Thanks for reading!
Yeah my moment was when my dog and I were playing and his toy went under the couch and he was about to go get it when I spotted a tentacle.. and SCREAMED. He looked at me like “Really.. ? ” while i went to go find something to prod the tentacle with and smash the horrible creature that was threatening our lives to bits and scoop the pulp into the trash.
It was a loose spring from below the couch. Dangling.
Laughing SO HARD on the inside. Also I’d say that this sentiment is pretty complementary:
That’s terrifying! It’s like the time I was hunting through our stash of Christmas decorations and picked up a rat! But it wasn’t a rat, it was just a stuffed camel from a Nativity scene.
We don’t put out our decorations any more.
We moved to Florida about a year ago – the land where cockroaches roam free and take flight and people call them by a different, friendlier sounding name: Palmetto. These evil monsters can turn up in your apartment with no notice (usually just the random one every few months) – they’re 3+ inches long and did I mention they FLY?! So, the other night I had my first real nightmare in years. I am asleep, dreaming in bed when I open my eyes and see two dozen of the little f***ers crawling around right above me on the low ceiling above my bed! I screamed and pulled the covers over my head to avoid the cockroaches falling on my face! It took a sleepy hubby a good while to calm me down and assure me it was just a dream. It’s just so weird to have a dream that’s in the same exact environment as I was — everything else was just like real life except the monster bugs! I did not sleep after that.