1. Make a heartfelt tribute website memorializing a minor character killed off on a TV series.
2. Stare at a cracking plaster wall. Using a pencil, add shading and structure to the cracks until you’ve created an artful representation of a lion or other zoo animal.
3. Record a series of YouTube videos singing Ke$ha songs in a thick Russian accent. If you are a person who naturally has a Russian accent, sing them in an Irish brogue.
4. Take an online quiz to determine which character from a television show best represents your personality. Send email to all your professional contacts informing them that you are legally changing your name to “Robin Scherbatsky.”
5. Create a Wikipedia page dedicated to your own life accomplishments. Intentionally include a photograph of a complete stranger.
6. Log onto Facebook. Comment only on the photos of people you haven’t seen in ten or more years. Begin each sentence with “Just to play devil’s advocate…”
7. Sign up for Peapod or other grocery delivery service. Order four boxes of kitchen gloves, three gallons of bleach, a pack of razors, three boxes of chocolate-flavored laxatives, a bottle of K-Y jelly, and a small jar of pickles. Answer the door in a furtive manner. Tip the delivery person exceptionally well.
8. Approach a stranger walking a dog. Smile, bend down to pet the dog, and ask the dog’s name. When they tell you, shake your head slowly, say “Not cool, bro,” and walk away.
9. Write a cranky op-ed to a local newspaper bemoaning our culture’s general wantonness, immodest behavior, and lack of a strong moral compass. Enclose, as evidence, printed photos of nude classical sculptures. Be sure to include the caption “NOT ON MY WATCH, YOU DON’T!”
10. Place a call to the Home Shopping Network and ask to purchase a friend.
11. Print two dozen photos of a blobfish. Affix them to every community bulletin board within walking distance.
12. Change your email signature’s job title field to “Optimist, Daydreamer, Firefighter.”
13. Follow a random stranger on Twitter. Retweet everything they say for a month.
14. Apply for a job using only Comic Sans font.
15. Call your parents. Tell them you’ve been feeling a little down lately but it’s okay, you’ve started racing ferrets competitively in an underground betting pool and you’ve made some really swell new friends.