Lost In Thought On A Cold Morning Looking At Trees and Shit
Divinely Beautiful And Incredibly Humble, Too
The Oils That Dry In Our Bones And Our Dishwasher
Emailed Soliloquies of Grandeur
You Look Hot In That Flannel Shirt: A Memoir Of Love Lost
Nice Meals My Parents Paid For
All’s Quiet On The Eastern Front But Not For Long Because I Live In South Philly
The Catharsis of Miss Katherine Fritz
All The Pretty Things I Have To Pick Up From The Drycleaners
Life Among Hipsters
A Tweet To Build A Dream On
An Endless And All-Consuming Thirty-Minute Love
Insert Important-Sounding Title Here
Rainfall
Nightwatch
Birdsong
Bird
Coffeemaker
Rutabaga
Pinecone
Spiced Herbs
Old Ham Sandwich
Old Ham Sandwich 2: The Reckoning
The Electric Toaster Support Group
The Space Between Truths and Lies Is Hopefully Cream-Filled
We Are All Human
We Are All Animals Unless We Are Vegetables or Minerals
Twenty Questions
The Literate Pineapple
An Insatiable Hunger For Beauty and Pizza Rolls
Aimless Internet Stalking And Other Confessions
The Torrid Milkshake Affair
Lady Grumblethorpe’s Persistent Complaints
I Left My Dignity In A Cab Last Night And Other Tiny Mistakes
Whiskey Wang
Tooting Down The Watchtower
Big Cheese Pizza
Bradley The Irresponsible Oak Tree
Moby Dick
Twilight
My writer’s retreat is going really well, you guys.
I would read any of them. Except twilight. Never again.
PS: As a Scenic Design major about to graduate in May -I’m obsessed with your blog. It’s pretty much phenomenal.
If you don’t use the one about aimless internet stalking, I think that sounds like the best possible title for my memoirs.
“Whiskey Wang” is my personal favorite.
It looks as if something spectacular is brewing somewhere on your writers retraite… I would love to read the Torrid Milkshake Affair…
“Nice Meals My Parents Paid For” is obviously a chronological series of short stories. That’s a nice conceit, I could see a work of light fiction being framed around it.
“Bradley the Irresponsible Oak Tree”… what does he do? Leave? Go on vacation during acorn time? Shake out the bird nests because they itch?
Life Among Hipsters
Story of my life.
haha
Hahahaha these are hilarious!
These are great! Quite a few of them are pretty good.
If I could suggest a title…
Booze, Booze, Booze..Read This Fucking Book.
I’d actually pay retail for a book like that.
write The Literate Pineapple…I want to know about the trials and tribulations of a pineapple of learning in a world of ignorant fruit 😀
I would love to read the Torrid Milkshake Affair – sounds intriguing
‘…his stomping feet made her heart tremble more than the floor of her luxurious penthouse apartment. “I’VE ONLY BEEN HERE 2 MINUTES, BUT I HAVE NEVER BEEN ANGRIER. Or more aroused,” a diatribe ended with the softest of whispers. The unknown man leapt towards Jessica’s voluptuous curves on the bed, a taut panther pouncing on his prey. Little did they know that their 28 minutes of all-consuming passion would be captured by a hidden camera and be endlessly played on the internet.”
-An Endless And All-Consuming Thirty-Minute Love
yeah, im not sure that is going to be a hit. but if it is, i’ll totally split the royalties?
Twilight are you serious?
The Space Between Truths and Lies Is Hopefully Cream-Filled and I Left My Dignity In A Cab Last Night And Other Tiny Mistakes actually sound like winners to me! 🙂
I think I left my dignity in a cab last night too. Err, plus or minus a couple of decades. Still, hilarious… I’ll buy that one.
HAHAHAHA! You made me laugh out loud on the toilet and now I know when I go back out there it’s either going to be painfully repressed silence or incredibly lewd commentary from my co-workers! 😝
Obviously there’s one title I would HAVE to read and I think I’ve already read a few of the others…but if I were you I’d go with “The Old Ham Sandwich 2: The Reckoning” without ever having written the first part.
Thanks for making email notifications worth it.
B, xx
YES. All of these. Excellent. :p
But seriously, oh the pains of title creation. Lemme tell you ’bout how I spent literally 3 hours rolling around on the floor of my boyfriend’s room a few weeks ago mostly just going “aaaagh!!!” on the outside while repeating “this title is shit! that title is shit! that other title is just like this title, which is also shit!”
My boyfriend, meanwhile, was being *super helpful* throwing out suggestions like “toast” and “french toast.”
Ya know, I don’t think I even mention toast ONCE in my manuscript.
Anyhoo. Happy writing. 😉
Aaaaaand I had to. “The Electric Toaster Support Group” was too good a title not to give it a story. Don’t worry, of course it’s dedicated to you, Miss Fritz! 🙂
http://thequillwritings.wordpress.com/2013/11/18/the-electric-toaster-support-group/
This might be the best title idea ever: You Look Hot In That Flannel Shirt: A Memoir Of Love Lost
My vote goes toward “All’s Quiet On The Eastern Front But Not For Long Because I Live In South Philly.” The last story that came from Philly (involving a young, troubled youth having to relocate to Bel Air, Maryland to reside with relatives) did rather well in my opinion.
Carob is not chocolate; and Life’s other Great Lies
Decisions, decisions, decisions! LOL!
OMG the I left my dignity in a cab title made me spit my coffee! Awesome!
View at Medium.com
Found this this morning, thought you’d appreciate
Okay, I’m really late to this party, but I just stumbled onto your blog. I have been alternately laughing out loud (I refuse to use the acronym), something I haven’t done in FAR too long, and being slack-jawed at your more poignant observations. Thank you for those gifts. You are an amazingly talented and fascinating woman. Please keep up the great work! You are an inspiration!